I've had this nagging, sinking feeling in my stomach for the past few weeks and have been trying, in vain, to pinpoint what has been putting a drag on me. For no certain reason, I came to a realization today - it was this sad feeling that people will always let you down.
I think I should start by saying that I don't think my family has let me down, and I don't think they will, but I know that, even within my family, people have let brothers, sisters, parents down. So I can see how that would work.
Mostly who I am talking about right now though are your friends, your colleagues - the people you interact with on a daily basis with whom you form a certain kinship. You give a little and they give a little back - theoretically. You form a mutual bond that, ideally, warms to both. And it all works out great - in the beginning. Then people become selfish, as they have a right to be, and you get let down.
And that's not to say that I haven't let others down either - I think we all do this. But I try my hardest not to let others down because I know how bad it feels to be let down yourself.
Is this why we exalt people like Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama? Because they so willingly give so much of themself and actually expect nothing in return? We all like to think we are that selfless...but we're not. We expect reciprocation, and when we don't get it, we are disappointed.
Perhaps that's the lesson of it all - you can be disappointed or you can just move on and be the bigger person. I think what's dragging me down now is that I've been the bigger person in so many instances that I'm sick of it. I want to ride freely on the low road for once and reap the benefits with none of the guts.
Maybe when I get out of school - it's always my mantra. Maybe when I get out of school I'll make the right decision and make friends who will give to me as much I to them. I feel like I am a great friend and, often, I get nothing in return. It happens, I know. Life is rough. But it's hard to imagine that there is nothing I deserve in return to all that I give to my friends.
People always let you down.
Title: In Our Sleep, We Speak
Chapter: 1 out of 1
Rating: T - slightl language, nothing huge.
Character(s): Cory, Dianna - RPF.
Summary: Dianna is having trouble sleeping and Cory is trying to help.
Notes: If RPS isn't your thing, it's not for you. Just my take - obviously NOT the truth. Enjoy! And tell me what you think!
( Our words, our actions - outlined in slumber....Collapse )
- Current Music:To Build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra
Title: A New Direction
Chapter: 1 out of ???
Rating: T (for now)
Character(s): Kurt, Rachel, Finn and Blaine
SPOILERS: Spoilers up to S2 Finale (2x22)
Summary: "The rent was high, the apartment was the size of the shoebox, they had to choose between heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer, and Rachel was pretty sure that there was a homeless man who gave his address as the front step outside their complex, but it was all worth it.They had made it two years in New York City."
Notes: Super cheesy, but I was inspired by the fandom making all the art and promos for 'A New Direction'. I would totally watch it, just saying RIB. 3 of the 4 reasons I watch Glee would be on it.
( I love New York....Collapse )
- Current Mood: tired
- Current Music:Super Bass
Title: Gold Hair with a Gentle Curl
Chapter: 1 out of 1
SPOILERS: Tiny spoiler with a bit of speculation for the season finale (but if you've seen Dianna's new pictures, it's not that big of a deal).
Summary: Dianna really wants Cory to like her new haircut.
Notes:VERY FLUFFY. RPS - If it's not your thing, don't read. I'm not sure I like this one as much as I would hope, so it might be rewritten. But enjoy, and please tell me what you think! Trying to get off my FQ/CD kick.
( Nothing to do with Wicked...just been listening to the soundtrack lately. Collapse )
- Current Mood: contemplative
- Current Music:For Good - Wicked
Title: Chasing Pavements
Chapter: 1 out of 1
Character(s): Finn/Quinn, mentions of Finn/Rachel
Summary: One-Shot of Finn and Quinn's Marriage...some late night reasoning as to why Finn broke up with Rachel
Notes: First Glee fanfic - let me know how it is!
( Check it out....check it out....Collapse )